So today is Wednesday and what a mad few days I have had. The weekend provided alot of twists and turns, including having a mental argument with Mr Ex. Why he’s been spending so much time here, I don’t know but getting under my feet and under my skin is what he’s doing and I’ve just about had enough of it. I sense trouble in paradise with he and Amy, and I don’t give a shit. I’ve moved on from wishing he would see me in that way again. Pfffft. I’m movin’ on up… and he’s movin’ on out. Oh yeh!!

So he said something stupid and I went to town on him. Crying and screaming like a banshee. Well, it was hiw fault. Wanker. And… earlier in the day, he’s had the cheek to put his hands on me. That ended with an apology and me calmly making it very clear to him that if he put his hands on me ever again that I will take a knife and cut his balls off while he sleeps. He looked at me and I stared him right out. I was deadly serious. The days of me letting a man rule me have looooooong gone. Pick the bones out of that, sweetheart.

And then lets move on.. on Sunday night I had a text from Louie. I didn’t get it until Monday morning, as I was sleeping. There were two texts. In the first he said that he wanted me to know that he would never hurt me. In the second, he said that he wanted me to tell him I wasn’t thinking about him too. Well I pondered on that for a few hours. I spoke to Mr E, who told me about his weekend. In the end the subject of Louie came up, and I told him about the texts. In the end I text Louie back saying that I missed him, and would like to spend some time with him without promises. He text me back fairly promptly saying that he didn’t need promises and would like to spend time with me too.

So that was all fab and that night he text me back and forth lots until I fell asleep eventually. We talked about all sorts of things he was being really nice to me and basically making it clear that he wanted me to be comfortable with everything and would play the situation however I wanted to. He told me that he wanted to spend time with me, and if I did too then brilliant, but its OK if I don’t. He asked me why I’d been pushing him away. He asked me alot of questions actually. I like when people ask me questions. So fun!

The next day I started to freak out a bit. Yep, yesterday was a weird day for freaking out. I started to feel like I’d already committed to spending time with him and he would be expecting something of me. I hate that feeling when you have feelings and you’re worried if you can control them enough that you don’t get hurt. But Louie text me and in his usual ESP styled fashion, he told me he knew I was probably freaking out and he asked me just to hold on until he got back. I thought that was really sweet. Maybe I am a pushover after all!

So all was fab until last night. I went and had a thoroughly unpleasant chat with one of his friends whilst I was at the gym. He told me Louie had a girlfriend and it was unfair of me to make him finish his relationship with her when I was leading him on. Now I had no idea that Louie had a girlfriend, so I came home quite upset. It also really upset me that he’d told his friends about me. When I got home I didn’t know quite what to do or think, and when Louie text me, I responded by ignoring him and in some sort of a silent ’screw you’ I texted about 6 of my other male friends instead of texting him.

So.. today, I picked apart what happened with Mr E who seemed intent, again… yawn.. on telling me that not everyone is the same, maybe there is a good explanation and that I am maybe overreacting. He seemed to think I was more upset about him telling me it was our secret and then blabbing to his friend. It’s the girlfriend thing that really grated on me. Anyways, to cut a very long saga of a story short, Louie asked if I was ignoring him and I told him about my conversation with his friend.

He eventually explained that he finished with the girlfriend (who apparently wasn’t a serious girlfriend) on the Friday night after our moment as I put it. So in a semi-flattering way, he had that moment with me and went and finished with her. In a not so flattering way, he was still attached in some way to someone else when he kissed me that time.

Now, Mr E still seems to think I should give Louie a chance. I’m thinking about alot of things. I don’t want to be the scarlet woman in the equation. I don’t want to be with someone who lies. I don’t want to be with someone who was with someone else a week ago.. I just don’t know.

So, I’ve been ignoring Louie a bit, and he’s been texting and trying to call me. I just don’t know what to say to him. Mr E says I will have to speak to him eventually. He also says that as soon as Louie gets back from Spain, he will be on my doorstep… We’ll see…